What They Don't Tell You About Mission Trips

It has now been over a year since I returned home from my first mission trip to Uganda, Africa and it still hurts. I know that is a very frank sentence, and as much as most people try to act like they understand -- they just don't. Most of my friends don't understand, my parents don't truly understand, and in all honesty... I don't really understand myself some days. Today my mother emailed me this blog post from a girl returning from her first mission trip in Africa called "What They Don't Tell You About Mission Trips", and for the first time I felt like someone finally understood how I am feeling. You see, the thing about mission trips is that thankfully so many people are interested in your journey and want to help, but then when you return home those same people want to know all about it. Don't get me wrong, in no way are those people a hassle and I am so happy to tell anyone willing to listen about my experiences, but it is just hard. How do you put into words that you had the best moments and the worst moments of your life in just a two week period. How do you explain how it felt to hold a baby in your arms that was once abandoned by it's own mother because it was just simply unwanted. How do you describe the face of a little girl starved to the bone but yet so beautiful with her big smile and neon yellow dress. As much as I may try.... I just can't. 

For so long when I retuned home from my trip I thought that something was wrong with me, and then those feelings of self doubt turned into fear. How was I supposed to take the most life changing experiences in Africa and apply them to my everyday life here in America? If I am being honest, it is still a fear I have today. Some of the most comfortable moments of my life I spent in probably what can be considered one of the most uncomfortable places. So now how do I find that sense of just true peace with myself, with God, and with the world now in probably the most comfortable place in the world? I don't know if any of this is making any sense but I am going to link the blogpost I am referring to here ( https://scriptinggrace.wordpress.com/2014/07/15/what-they-dont-tell-you-about-mission-trips/ ). I encourage you to read it, because to all who are wondering... this is what it feels like. My favorite quote from the post is this... "The same faithful God Who called me with a purpose to Zambia is the same God Who called me back to America. If He really is Who I believe Him to be, then regardless of my emotions, I know He hasn’t left me. I know that He has a purpose and a plan for my life. I used to struggle with thinking I would miss that one big purpose, but I’ve come realize our purpose in life isn’t one big event that we’re climbing towards. Our purpose here on earth is to love God and love people while we’re here on this earth. However we can, wherever we can, whatever it costs us personally." No matter where we are or what we are doing with our life God is with us, and that is the simply truth. This I know to be true -- God sent me to Africa for a reason, and he brought me home for a reason to. I don't know what his great plan for my life is, but I know that whatever it is, as long as I put my trust in him, it will be beautiful. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout my missions. I am so thankful to have a family in Christ that surrounds me and showers me with love. And to all those who I have literally broken out into tears in front of over this whole thing... an extra special big thanks to you. My hope is that by reading this blog and the blog a linked that you all may be able to understand a little bit more of why Uganda is such a big part of who I am know, and why it still hurts so badly for me to be home. 

Much love,
Katie