A declaration, An explanation, A picture of my heart

 

Above is the status I posted on Facebook tonight, and if you guys don't mind I thought I would elaborate a little bit. First off, let me say in no way was I trying to discredit teachers nor was I trying to generalize teachers every where. Being a teacher is a thankless job. People are constantly discrediting them and giving them a hard time. I have the up most respect for teachers everywhere. I personally have been blessed with great teachers, and that is why it breaks my heart when I see children be negatively impacted by the few bad ones. Thankfully there are great teachers around the world who make positive impacts on students' lives every day. Unfortunately though there are those kids out there who are not blessed with loving teachers, and that is why I said what I said. 

 

For years children with disabilities have been looked down upon by society, their peers, and even by teachers. I have had the extreme horror of witnessing a teacher yank a child with Down's Syndrome around and tell them that they are useless. Thankfully that teacher is no longer a teacher at the school I was job shadowing  that day, but it opened my eyes to some of the horrors that are out there. It has inspired me to want to make a difference. 

 

On a more personal level, I have seen teachers mistreat a little boy very close to my heart. I have heard teachers say that he is hopeless and unless he is medicated then he has no chance of ever being successful. And let me tell you folks, those words were a knife to the heart. I have not been involved in the world of special needs education for long, but one thing I do know is that such decelerations could not be farther from the truth.This matter is one very near and dear to my heart, and is not one that I take lightly. 

 

Tonight I put my heart out there. I am the kind of person who loves and constantly puts everything there for the world to see. I make myself vulnerable and sometimes I have to pay the price for that. I believe with all my heart that as Christians God has called us to be that light in the darkness and not to be afraid to speak out against the evils of the world. Ephesians 6:10 says "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness." Being a follower of God is not an easy task, and neither is standing up for what you believe in. But nothing can change unless issues are addressed. 

 

I just want all of you to know where I was coming from and I why I said the things I did. I really do hope to make a difference in the world of special needs education. My heart has been touched countless times by children with disabilities and learning differences. It is  my dream to take the love that those children have shown me and shine it upon the rest of the world. 

 

Thank you to everyone out there who supports me, I could not do it without yall. 

 XOXO, 

Katie

"I will rejoice and be glad in it"

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep. There's that painful noise again. Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep. The noise I dread hearing every morning. The clock flashes 5:35, I know what that means, I have to get out of my warm and cozy bed and face the day. Another day, same old routine. Get up, get ready, take dog out, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, get unready, go to bed. Repeat.

Just like every other morning, this was the process that I went through on this specific dreadful morning. However this morning I guess you could say "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." From the very beginning nothing was going right. I left my makeup out in my car so I had to go outside in the freezing cold to retrieve it. My puppy "had an accident" on the floor during the night so I had to clean that up. My hair was still wet from the night before so I had to take time to go downstairs to use my mother's hair dryer because mine is broken. This unfortunate series of events of course caused me to be running behind. To top everything off, when I was finally ready to go, my brother was not. I snapped at him for not being ready on time, and then I snapped at my mother for not having him ready on time. I then continued to storm out of the house and drove to school in complete silence. (I know surprising right, me completely silent??)

I continued to go through the motions of my day and was even approached by several of my friends asking if I felt alright. Apparently my mood was not only affecting my day, but the day of the people around me. I was so absorbed with my own miniscule problems and in my own universe that I forgot about everyone else around me. No matter how hard I tried my mood could not and would not improve.

When I got home later that day I decided to just hole myself up in my room and do the world a favor. I had had the worst day possible and I honestly just didn't care about how anyone else's went. It was then that I decided to open my laptop and just try to escape. I went through my usual social media routine- twitter, Facebook, pinterest. I then on a whim decided to check Katie Davis's blog. And smack, I was brought back  out of my own universe into reality. I read about Eight-year-old Angela Amoiti who lives deep in the Ugandan village of Buyizia.She is one of the girls in Amazima's program and the post talked about how thankful she was to get sponsored and to get to go to school. She had just taken her first ever ride on a motorized vehicle and was introducing Katie to her family. Her responsibilities at home include cooking, fetching water, washing clothes, and helping to farm the small plot of land that belongs to their family. Here was an eight year old doing all of this and filled with nothing less than complete and utter joy. And what was I doing? Pouting after a hard day in my nice home, warm car, and eighteen thousand dollar a year private school. I don't think I need to explain just how selfish and shallow I felt.I dropped down to my knees and prayed. I prayed for forgiveness and I asked for his eyes and heart for the world. I asked for him to work on my heart and to help me to be less self absorbed, more absorbed with the people around me, and I asked most of all for humbleness. 

With next week being thanksgiving families all around America are going to be gathering  around their large spread of turkey and fixings, saying what they are thankful for, and maybe even send up a prayer. Here is the thing though, Thanksgiving isnt just the third Thursday in November. Thanksgiving should be every day.

So today I am praying for God to keep me humble and to constantly remind me to have thankfulness like Angela. I am praying that whenever I am having a bad  day this verse will come to mind "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalm 118:24.

Every day is a gift. We have not earned it. We are not promised it. So lets live today for today, and be thankful.


Happy Thanksgiving,
Katie

Orphan Sunday

Happy Orphan Sunday! I can't decide if that is an appropriate statement or just a complete oxymoron. Happy-Orphan? Doesn't sound right, does it?

 Today I got spend my Orphan Sunday in the most perfect way imaginable, okay maybe second best to actually being in Africa, but still in a pretty perfect way. Today I got to love on a baby that was once labeled unloved, rejected, and orphaned. Today I got to hold a miracle in my arms. Today I saw the face of God in an eight month old baby boy. Today I got to see the hands and feet of Jesus Christ through the family who brought him home.Today I celebrated that number of orphans in the world is one less.

When I woke up this morning I couldn't decide what mood to be in. I was excited that today people all over the world would be in prayer for the millions of orphaned children of the world. But at the same time I was heartbroken because there are millions of orphaned children in the world. It is this strange bitter-sweet feeling that I cant put into words. All day my heart has been aching and I have been filled with sense of longing. I couldn't quite put my finger on what for exactly, but the feeling was still there.It was when I was holding that sweet Ethiopian baby in my arms that I realized what my heart was longing for. No not to adopt a baby, at least not yet ha ha, but a longing for hope. 

I can't tell you the number of times that I have been faced with negativity or criticism for my love of orphans. Just recently I was hit with a truck load of hostility for my love and passion. I have been asked numerous times why bother, it's not like you can make a difference. One thing that I just cant get people to understand is that THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Everyday God is calling us to "speak up for those who can not speak for themselves" and to "look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." God has given us the power to make a difference. God has given us the power of prayer.  So friends I ask you to please PRAY PRAY PRAY. Pray for the Orphans of the world, pray for the families that God is calling to adopt, pray for the missionaries all around the world who are caring for these orphans.

Today I longed for hope and God gave it to me. Today I saw that although there are millions of orphans in the world, every day babies are being brought home to their forever homes. Some may say that one less orphan does not make a big difference, but oh let me tell you, it makes the biggest difference. 

My heart is still filled with longing, and I still don't know what exactly for. I miss Africa. I miss my many friends I met there. I don't know what God's plan is for me, but I am praying that what ever it may be, it will be glorifying to HIM. I left my heart in Africa that day I boarded the plane and came home, and who knows --  maybe someday soon I'll go back and get it. But until then I am here, praying for the orphans of the world, and loving on the ones who have been brought home. 

Happy Orphan Sunday everyone.

XOXO,
Katie  

 

Tonight my faith was tested. It's not like this hasn't happened a billion times before, but tonight it definitely caught me off guard. I am used to being made fun of for being a christian. Wait let me rephrase that.... I have dealt with being made fun of for being a christian for a long time now. I don't think I will ever get used to it. But tonight I was criticized for something completely different.I really don't want to get into specifics because that is not my point. I am not here to judge. I am not here to point fingers. I am glad that what happened tonight did because it just makes me stronger in my faith and it just brings me closer to God. I am soooo imperfect and I make soo many mistakes so this is not me trying to be self righteous. This is me trying to spread the word and the light of God in this dark world.

I know this is not the last time I will be criticized for my beliefs. I am just thankful that other people's opinions and this world are not what define me. I am defined by the way I love and it is my prayer that every day I get a little better at it. All I want is for God's light to shine through me, no matter the cost. I am so imperfect, but because of the love of Christ I am made perfect in HIS sight. 

I don't need your approval to make me happy, all I need is the love of the Lord.

My facebook post from earlier tonight and how i deal with criticism, heart ache, and negativity in general:

There is nothing like holding an orphan in your arms. Unfortunately not everyone in this world is blessed with the gift of worldly love. The good news is that there is a father in heaven who loves us all unconditionally and provides us with a greater love than could ever be found on this earth. This world and it's people will constantly fail us, but I know that all this will one day fade. So when I face hard times and heart ache I remember what it feels like to hold an orphan in my arms and just simply LOVE. "We love because he first loved us" 
1 John 4:19 ❤️








XOXOXO, 
Katie

Who Am I?

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt?"

- Casting Crowns

   Who am I? This is a question that seems to haunt me some days. Like so many other things in life, it seems so simple on the surface. I am Anna Katherine Browning -- a 5'3 brunette with a bubbly personality, great friends, and an amazing family.
   Who am I? This is a question that seems to haunt me some days. Like so many other things in life, it is not so simple beneath the surface. I am......?
   Who am I? For as long as I can remember I have been told that God knows me by name. He "created my innermost being." He "knit me together in my mothers womb." He "fearfully and wonderfully made me." I know these are words of comfort but i cant help but worry. God made me and he knows who I am inside and out, the good and the bad. He has so many plans for me and my life. The only thing standing between me and these plans is.....myself.
   Who am I? Am I being the woman God wants me to be? Am I following the path that He has set out for my life? Am I making him proud?
   Who am I? These are all questions that I can not exactly answer right now. I know that I have a fire for the Lord inside me that I want to shine bright for the world to see. I also know that some days my not so wholesome mouth, my longing to be accepted, and my tendencies to give into temptation seem to put that fire out.
   I do not know who I am all the time now, but I do know the woman I am going to try my very best to be. I know that I am not perfect and that I never will be. I know that I will continue to let not only myself down but others down as well. Most importantly though, I know that because of God's love none of these imperfections matter.
   So now when this "who am I" question haunts me I can proudly say that

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean.

A vapor in the wind.

Still GOD hears me when I'm calling.

GOD catches me when I'm falling.

And GOD tells me who I am.

I am his.

XOXO,
Katie

~Psalm 139 ~
 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

 

Thankful, Overjoyed, and Miserable

       Seven weeks ago today I was on a plane making my journey to Uganda. I have these very surreal moments now and then since I've returned that make me this strange mix of extremely thankful, overjoyed, and miserable. Thankful for the love I receive everyday from my Lord, family, and friends (here and on the other side of the planet). Overjoyed for the experiences I had in Uganda as well as the small difference I was able to make. But miserable because of the longing I have to be back there. If you would have told me 7 weeks ago that I would be laying in my big, bug free, and air conditioned room unable to sleep because of my heart longing for my muggy and bug infested bunk bed on the other side of the world... I would have called you insane. It's crazy how God works sometimes.
XOXO,
Katie

~Psalm 139~

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Psalm 139

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.