Who Am I?

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt?"

- Casting Crowns

   Who am I? This is a question that seems to haunt me some days. Like so many other things in life, it seems so simple on the surface. I am Anna Katherine Browning -- a 5'3 brunette with a bubbly personality, great friends, and an amazing family.
   Who am I? This is a question that seems to haunt me some days. Like so many other things in life, it is not so simple beneath the surface. I am......?
   Who am I? For as long as I can remember I have been told that God knows me by name. He "created my innermost being." He "knit me together in my mothers womb." He "fearfully and wonderfully made me." I know these are words of comfort but i cant help but worry. God made me and he knows who I am inside and out, the good and the bad. He has so many plans for me and my life. The only thing standing between me and these plans is.....myself.
   Who am I? Am I being the woman God wants me to be? Am I following the path that He has set out for my life? Am I making him proud?
   Who am I? These are all questions that I can not exactly answer right now. I know that I have a fire for the Lord inside me that I want to shine bright for the world to see. I also know that some days my not so wholesome mouth, my longing to be accepted, and my tendencies to give into temptation seem to put that fire out.
   I do not know who I am all the time now, but I do know the woman I am going to try my very best to be. I know that I am not perfect and that I never will be. I know that I will continue to let not only myself down but others down as well. Most importantly though, I know that because of God's love none of these imperfections matter.
   So now when this "who am I" question haunts me I can proudly say that

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean.

A vapor in the wind.

Still GOD hears me when I'm calling.

GOD catches me when I'm falling.

And GOD tells me who I am.

I am his.

XOXO,
Katie

~Psalm 139 ~
 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

 

Thankful, Overjoyed, and Miserable

       Seven weeks ago today I was on a plane making my journey to Uganda. I have these very surreal moments now and then since I've returned that make me this strange mix of extremely thankful, overjoyed, and miserable. Thankful for the love I receive everyday from my Lord, family, and friends (here and on the other side of the planet). Overjoyed for the experiences I had in Uganda as well as the small difference I was able to make. But miserable because of the longing I have to be back there. If you would have told me 7 weeks ago that I would be laying in my big, bug free, and air conditioned room unable to sleep because of my heart longing for my muggy and bug infested bunk bed on the other side of the world... I would have called you insane. It's crazy how God works sometimes.
XOXO,
Katie

~Psalm 139~

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Psalm 139

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.